Jon is the editor in chief and technical director of the Chambana Report. He once embarassed himself in a Guitar Center because he grossly underestimated the difficulty of playing drums. He has a seasonal interest in snails and dreams to name the shiftiest one "Snail Gilgeous Alexander".

David is the creative director and an investigative journalist for the newspaper. He enjoys relaxing in nature, listening to music, and hanging out with friends. He wouldn't describe himself as eclectic but hopes that other people might describe him as such.

Ryan is the chief final officer, a columnist, and a doctor of journalism who currently attends several different universities under several different seasonal-themed last names. His hobbies include listening to spotify, clash royale, and writing his biweekly advice column. His list of role models includes Puss in Boots and Clairo, among others.

Drafty is a bat(?) but more importantly is an intern at the Chambana Report. They handle various odds and ends. Drafty dreams of writing for the Chambana Report but isn't able to make it past a first draft. Drafty loves ultimate frisbee.

Tony is a writer, a student of the streets and bicycle philosopher. A true modern renaissance man, he silently sits in coffee shops for hours at a time while purchasing nothing and holds a municipal internship in a windowless closet.

Thomas Dickey is an environmentalist, wildlife educator, and television personality. He graduated from the Medal School of Journalism in 2023. He aspires to one day live in or near a zoo.

Owen Valentine is a genre-bending musical genius who occasionally lends his pen to the Chambana Report. He was once belittled by the employees at a Taco Bell drive thru for ordering cheese quesadillas. He has a very shallow Overwatch hero pool.